hide this website Cover your tracks online
Breaking the cycle of Domestic Abuse – Live Fear Free Helpline: 0808 80 10 800

Part 1: A Poem from a Service User

Part 1: A Poem from a Service User

A poem I wrote inspired by Port Talbot and Afan Women’s Aid.

 

It was the moment I looked at myself, my children and my home.

The moment I thought of many things, whilst laying in bed alone.

My family, my friends, my future, it all depends on me.

The last two years I have suffered, with abuse that nobody needs.

 

The control, the lies, the bully

The words, the attitude, the mood.

The jealousy, the insecurities, but the charmer,

I just don’t know what to do.

 

He flirts with her, he comes back late, he lays on the sofa, goes out with his mates.

I’m cooking, cleaning and ironing

I’ve just got so much to get through

I’m awake all day, I’m up all night, i suppose this is motherhood for you.

 

I shouldn’t expect him to help me, or support me during the night.

As he would be sure to tell me “I’ve worked all day, i need my sleep, goodnight”.

Even though I care for my children, day and night right through,

He has been in work all day, I suppose I’ll pay for them on my own too.

 

I shouldn’t expect his money, when I get benefits to help me by,

His money is his own, to treat himself with new shoes, shirts and ties.

 

“I shouldnt give you anything” “Your mother is a T**T” “You shouldnt be doing it like this – you should be doing it like that”

“You’re not affectionate anymore” “You mothers like controlling us men” “Why are you texting your mother” “Your on your phone again”

“If you kept it in the same f*****g place, I would use it like you ask” “Why is it everything I say, you’ve got an answer back”

 

From “You frustrate me” to “I dont remember it happening” to “Your a joke” and “I will change”

Its never going to happen, im not doing this again.

 

She asks you to the cinema, whilst your girlfriend is pregnant at home.

Yet you tell her “You can’t afford it” and im supposed to feel second to none.

She calls you a sh*gger, she texts you all day, you leave me for a party yet i find out in 7 days.

You glare at other women, you show it on your phone, and I feel really good being left every weekend alone.

 

You make it known to have offered “help” when the help is just a struggle.

With painful hips and a newborn baby, if I say no there will just be trouble.

I can’t do it anymore, its too much for me, and not only that, also my baby.

I am staying at home, but I want you with me, I just want to be a proper family.

 

“I offered you help but you refused and said no” so I will suffer the consequences and care for my baby alone.

 

This is just a small amount of what has happened and what has been said.

It may not be physical but emotionally my confidence is dead.

It’s to the point that it was noticed, his behaviour is not right.

So I have made a tough choice to leave and fight for what is right.

 

Every woman deserves a man, who will care for them each day.

A man who will make sure, we will all be ok.

A person who is kind, loving, and wanting to care for me and my boys.

A man who will spoil them with love, and not just through a few toys.

 

An argument may arise, but will soon disappear, as both partners will feel that love for each other.

Day by day, side by side, we will live each day with no hurt or lies.

No mind games, No fear, no secrets or feelings of control.

We will all live our lives happily, feel strong and meet our goals.

 

I want to thank my family, friends and the team at Womens Aid, for helping me through this as I am no longer afraid.

I will work at whats right, not one more excuse, and no longer put up with any Domestic Abuse.